Pensacola Prediction

So, it seems Pensacola city voters have approved a new municipal charter authorizing a "strong mayor" system. Now, let's see if they have the brains to elect one who's intelligent and honest.

Don't count on it. We fervently wish them well, but we've seen this movie before. Voters who find themselves incapable of electing a city council majority with brains and integrity are unlikely to smarten-up and suddenly elect anything better as mayor.

Save this prediction on the front of your refrigerator: Sooner or later -- probably sooner -- a "strong mayor" elected by the people of Pensacola will be indicted on corruption charges. And, he'll go to jail, just as so many county commissioners have in the past.

Unless, that is, his criminal defense lawyer succeeds in empaneling a jury made up of the same kind of dummies that voted for him.

Rolltide Symphony in J Minor

We have a good friend who can be seen all over Pensacola this time of year, embarrassing herself by waving crimson flags and shouting, "Rolltide, Rolltide." Check out any sports bar that may be showing Alabama football. You'll be forgiven if you mistake her for a crazy tea bagger.

The other day, she sent us a film clip, seen below. Either she was trying to convey her condolences or she was rubbing salt in our wounds. Alabama is still in the hunt for a national college football championship while the Iowa Hawkeyes aren't.

It's as if our friend were saying, "Sure, Alabama is No. 1. But Iowa can do something, too. Looky here, the Hawkeyes are a winner in farm machinery music!"

If she were sneering as she said it, then she was rubbing in the salt. The film our friend sent purports to show an --

incredible machine ... built as a collaborative effort between the Robert M. Trammell Music Conservatory and the Sharon Wick School of Engineering at the University of Iowa. Amazingly, 97% of the machine's components came from John Deere Industries and Irrigation Equipment of Bancroft Iowa , yes farm equipment.

It is now on display in the Matthew Gerhard Alumni Hall at the University and is already slated to be donated to the Smithsonian.

The problem is, the entire story -- and the machine -- is a hoax.

• There is no "Robert M. Trammell Music Conservatory" at the University of Iowa.
  
• There is no "Sharon Wick School of Engineering."
  
• There is no "Matthew Gerhard Alumni Hall" in Iowa City, or anywhere else for that matter.
  
• John Deere Co. has nothing to do with any of them.
  
• The machine is not on its way to the Smithsonian Museum.
  
• The reason is, as the Smithsonian patiently explains,"The Institution cannot accept a donation of something that doesn't exist."

As it happens, there is a Bancroft, Iowa (pop. 808). In case you're wondering, it's just twelve miles due west of Titonka (pop. 574). Even people in Iowa don't know these towns exist.

As for the University of Alabama, we'll put the U. of I's Bill LaRue Jones up against Alabama's Nick Saban any ol' time.

Charlie Crist's Options

The Republican Governor of Florida is in deep political trouble. He's the latest target of the tea bagger crazies. Or, as the Urban Dictionary now has it, he's being scozzafavaed.

According to recent polling, right-winger Mario Rubio is on track to defeat Charlie Crist in next year's Republican primary for the U.S. Senate nomination. The really bad news for Crist is, "The crazier the Republican, the better Rubio does." And, Florida has a lot of crazy Republicans.

Steve Benen surveys Crist's options:

• Crist can try to out-crazy Rubio, but that would put him somewhere to right of Attila the Hun.
• Once he loses the primary, he could do a Lieberman and run as an Independent, possibly tying the major party candidates.
• He could change parties and become a Democrat, in which case poll data analysis show he probably would win.

Adam Smith, the fortuitously-named political reporter for the St. Petersburg Times, has an even more outlandish suggestion: Crist could discover some lofty principle he actually believes in. Then, he'd stand for something other than his own political advancement.

Novel idea, eh?

The Wait of Evidence in Pensacola

A man with a criminal record who is a serial liar is arrested for a bar heist that went so bad a patron was shot and killed. The man then tells Escambia County sheriff's deputies the trigger man actually was a black man with the supposed nickname "Black By Day." He claims he doesn't know his supposed accomplice's real name.

So, Escambia County deputies arrest a black man, now known to be entirely innocent of any crime --

on the word of Brandon Davis, 20, who admitted robbing the bar in the 3900 block of Fairfiield Drive on Oct. 23. Davis also told officers that Gilchrist was with him and fired the fatal shot that knocked Jared Ortiz, 25, from a bar stool.

The innocent man arrested happens to have a similar-sounding nickname, "Day Day." That's the only so-called evidence linking him to the crime. A bar full of employees and patrons, and no one else could corroborate the innocent black man's involvement. Yet, he is charged with murder and sits in jail awaiting trial. In the meantime, what does the sheriff's investigators do? Nothing. Nothing!

Why? Sheriff's spokesman Sgt. Ted Roy explains: "I don't know if you watch a lot of TV, but in real life, other evidence does come forward all the time."

Arrest first, wait for the evidence to walk in your door later? Wasn't there a revolution fought over that kind of conduct?

The only evidence that finally came forward? The original crook recanted his "his allegation that Gilchrist was involved... ." There being no other evidence against him, Gilcrist was finally released.

Think about that for a moment. The cops rely on one man's word and arrest someone, then sit around wolfing down donuts and waiting while drawing their salaries as 'homicide detectives.' But for the rare happenstance that the crook finally 'fessed up, an innocent man almost assuredly would have been tried, convicted, and executed in Florida.

We don't watch much TV, so we can't be sure what Sgt. Ted Roy is referring to. Does he mean to imply that in Pensacola, the sheriff's deputies don't look for fingerprints from the gun or gunpowder residue on the suspect? They can't bother to interview victims in the bar?

Now, in all fairness the PNJ may not have the whole story. After all, the absence of evidence in itself is evidence. And, it may be the product of some kind of investigation, even if after-the-fact. Nor are we persuaded by some of the boo-birds who infect the PNJ message boards that this is all the fault of the current sheriff. After all, he inherited a deputy force that doubtless has some lousy, hard-to-fire detectives along with some good ones.

But, doesn't the law require probable cause before arrest? Or, in Escambia County is it the case that to know his race is to know enough?

Beach Life List

Today's edition of the Pensacola Newsletter editorializes by asking the question, How different should beach life be? Curiously, the editorial wimps out on offering an answer.

What the newspaper is talking about is the latest scam by real estate gamblers to try to recoup their underwater investments: McMansion "houses" built in single-family residential neighborhoods to function like party hotels so they can host raucous beach bashes 24/7. Today, it's large wedding parties. Tomorrow, the editorial points out it could be "weekend flea markets," dining for the masses al fresca, or porch concerts by electrified rock bands.

That's not helpful. It just gives the speculators more ideas. To sentient human beings, suggesting that Pensacola Beach might become home to trashy flea markets and ear-splitting rock concerts sounds like a nightmare. To the repulsive mercenaries trying to game the zoning laws, the newspaper's short list of horribles will sound like great ideas.

Using Too Much Health Insurance

If those pesky blogs would just stop reporting on lazy, good-for- nothing people like this kid who want to use too much health insurance, Blue Cross could make more money. It's a "non-profit," after all.

The latest House Republican Plan would fix all this by making it possible for health insurance companies just like this one to sell their crappy policies everywhere across state lines without worrying over whether some states have more consumer-friendly laws.

Obama in China

James Fallows translates for us.

Marriage Mill Beach

"Pensacola Beach needs an identity to make it stick out from the pack of destination resorts dotting the Northern Gulf Coast from Gulf Shores to Destin."

-- Kimberly Blair, PNJ, Oct. 28, 2009

Who needs a consultant and workshops to come up with an "identity" for Pensacola Beach when there are quick-buck real estate artists, developers, stock brokers, and rental agents ready to turn the beach into "Marriage-Mill Party Town?" We have no doubt that a majority of the real estate gamblers on the beach privately thinks gay marriage is immoral and irreligious and all of that. But if it makes them a buck, they'd probably vote for a county ordinance allowing people to marry animals on Pensacola Beach every hour of the day ... and night.

Dept. of Amplification
11-15 pm
You can follow the issue through the Gulf Breeze News. They not only scooped the PNJ early last week, they didn't send a "fashion magazine" writer to cover it.

Lonesome Road to Ft. Pickens

As tame as Tropical Storm Ida was as it came ashore over Mobile, it's no surprise that the road to Ft. Pickens is closed once again. "About 80 percent of Fort Pickens Road between the entrance station and ranger station is covered with 500,000 to 750,000 cubic yards of sand," chief Park Ranger Clayton Jordan told the PNJ.

The closure of Fort Pickens Road marks the fourth time since the road reopened in May that it has been closed for weather-related reasons, Jordan said. The road was washed out by Hurricane Ivan in 2004. It was rebuilt but then destroyed by Tropical Storm Arlene and hurricanes Cindy and Dennis in 2005.

In fact, there is a saltwater and sand overwash of a stretch of road nearly a half-mile long during just about every rain storm and many high tides. We happened to be visiting the fort a week or so before Ida. It was about two weeks after a seasonal rain storm not much worse than Ida. Evidence of overwash was visible all along that portion of the road.

What's happening, as Barrier Island Girl helped us point out last May, is that the western end of Santa Rosa Island is gradually breaking off. It's a slow process, to be sure. Mother Nature is in no hurry. But it's as inevitable as the division of East Ship and West Ship islands.

So, enjoy Fort Pickens when and as you can. Your grandchildren will have to boat there, for sure.

Charlie Crist's Coast-to-Coast Charter

After chasing the wind-blown pages of our daily Pensacola Newsletter all over the neighborhood this morning, because once again it's lighter than air, we wound up with some sort of sports half-page, a few classified ads, and the front page. That's it. Here's hoping the fishes enjoy the Local News and Editorial sections, if there are any.

What we're left with is just enough to know that the PNJ is linking Governor Crist to an accused big-time drug dealer, Pedro "Pete" Benevides. Kris Wernowksy reports that Benevides is a Brazilian-born Orlando multi-millionaire currently residing in a jail cell in Pensacola. (See his federal mug shot, left).

The governor's connection is through Benevides' "Skyview Aviation," a charter jet company. Last year it "ferried Gov. Charlie Crist to a climate-change conference hosted by California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger in Beverly Hills."

Apparently, Charlie rode in style. It was a $60,000 per round-trip style of flying, free of charge.

What kind of airplane ride this side of low earth orbit costs $60,000? Regular people can catch a roundtrip from Tallahassee to L.A. for under $400. Coast-to-coast charters cost around $6,000 to $10,000. So, what could possibly justify a price like sixty grand?

"It's like driving a Bentley," a Skyview spokesman told Wernowsky. "Fourteen seats with a bed in the back, plasma TVs. ... It's a nice plane. Real nice."

Somehow, we think that "real nice" remark needed italics for emphasis, so we added them. It looks to us like someone is sending a signal to someone else. What could it be? The cabin meals came with a side dish of white powder? The in-flight movie was being filmed as everyone partied?

The charter ride was so nice, apparently, that "the company received other requests from the Governor's Office to fly the governor." But Florida state Republican Party chairman Jim Greer is eagerly telling the press, these days, that Skyview turned the governor down when he begged for a repeat.

We'll soon see about that. We're guessing Skyview's reservation requests, flight book, and other files soon will be revealed. If Benevides didn't have a cabin-cam recording everything that went on, he deserves to go to jail. He's too stupid to be bribing politicians.

Hannity Hilarity

Faux News, at it again:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Celebrating Veterans

Bryan at Why Now? celebrates Veterans' Day with the hope "there will be no need for another generation to put on uniforms and march to war."

We revert to weather history to remember a time, unlike now, when Americans were tough enough to celebrate Armistice Day despite inclement weather:

A Texas ‘Norther’ that swooped down the Gulf last night had no terrors for the crowd which invaded Brownsville from the whole of the lower Rio Grande Valley and even from Mexico across the river. Thirty thousand people swept into this city of 6,000 on a threefold celebration, that of Armistice Day, that of honoring the President-elect and jubilation over the closing of the subscription for railroad and harbor improvement that valley residents are confident will make Brownsville and its port at Point Isabel eclipse Galveston in commercial importance.”

– “Harding Days War Was for Our Rights: Denies that America Fought to Make the World Safe for Democracy,” New York Times, Nov. 12, 1920 at 1.

G.O.P. Talking Points

Did Michael Steele send this out to us?

Convenient Closings

Thursday's annual veterans' day parade in Pensacola has been canceled. It was that terrible storm, don't you know.

The suspicion lingers that a lot of those closings -- schools, speeches, sporting events, meetings, government offices, courts, etc. etc. -- were announced because people just plain need a break. That's jake with us. After all, America remains the "no vacation nation" -- and if it takes a little tropical hysteria to change that, so be it.

Ida Idles Over Mobile Bay

Florida Governor Charlie Crist declared a state of emergency yesterday as Tropical Storm Ida slowly approached the Panhandle, the Miami Herald reports. The storm "was downgraded... moments after Crist issued the declaration."

The poor guy can't catch a break. Not only are the lunatic teabaggers after his scalp, Mother Nature is making him look as foolish as Bobby Jindal.

After all the media hysteria, school closings, cancellations and the like, Ida "made its first landfall about 5:40 CST on Dauphin Island, with the center of the storm about 25 miles south of Mobile." The storm was described as "slow, wet, weak."

In a disturbing sign of the times, the Destin Log covered the storm by reporting on tweets, or twitters, or whatever they're called. Our favorite breathless news report:

"BushWilliams: LOL just talked to my Dad who is in Destin, FL and fairly trashed at a hurricane party. Sounds like a good time."