Common Sense, Improperly

Mike Robertson, of Gulf Breeze 'Improper', makes sense:

Keep in mind that all of the water delivered to 32561 or 32563 travels through the same pipes, and is distributed by the same physical utility, owned by the City of Gulf Breeze. Whether toilets are flushed in 32561 or 32563, the resulting flushes end up being mixed together and treated together.

It is easy to understand that the utility serving both ZIP codes needs a rate increase if the money coming in is not sufficient to pay the bills. It is not clear why separate rates must be charged for equal flushes occurring in 32561 and 32563.
* * *
The City of Gulf Breeze should consolidate its accounting of its utility service. If taxpayers in the city are paying for part of their utility in their taxes, reduce their taxes by a like amount. Spread the burden of all costs for the utility service on the utility bills we all receive each month, but spread it equally among the ratepayers.

Compare and contrast with the "Proper" argument.

Monty Python: The Pensacola Connection

**This month, otherwise sane people are celebrating the 40th anniversary of Monty Python's first appearance on BBC, which launched them into the "comedy firmament," as Dave Itzkoff acutely notes in his review of last night's proceedings at New York's Zeigfeld Theater. There, a lucky audience saw the premier of the new documentary, "Monty Python: Almost the Truth," and had a chance to see Monty Python reunited on stage, answering questions from the audience in their usual irreverent style.

There is a Pensacola connection, of a somewhat attenuated nature, with Monty Python. After the comedians -- or whatever they are -- disbanded and went on with their individual lives, troupe member Terry Jones established himself as a highly respected scholar of medieval history.

Among other books, he was the inspiration and lead author of Who Murdered Chaucer?, an elegant and detailed analysis of Chaucer, the politically parlous times in which he lived, and the mystery of why he so abruptly disappears from the written record in 1402. In Jones' telling, you can blame it on the Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Arundel, who seems to have played an evil Karl Rove to the Middle Ages' version of George Bush, Henry IV.

"Who Murdered Chaucer? is a great page-turner for mystery lovers as well as an edifying account of fourteenth century Britain, Chaucer, and medieval society.

The Pensacola connection? Co-author of "Who Murdered Chaucer?, and English language scholar, Robert Yeager is a professor at the University of West Florida and chairman of the English Department. He provided the truly superb translations (if that's the word) of Chaucer's Middle English to modern English.

Prof. Yeager's work not only adds scholarly heft to an already lively history, it includes some of the finest Caucerian translations we've had the privilege of reading. If you're a U.W.F. student, or an adult looking for a stimulating class or two to take, you can't do better than to take a class from Prof. Yeager.

We guarantee you will find it as engaging, if not quite as funny, as the younger Terry Jones' portrayal of the deservedly obscure Scottish "poet" Ewan McTeagle:

** (Embarrassing spelling error corrected)

Child Homicide and Public Policy

There is very little one can say about the deeply appalling and grotesque facts behind the death-by-neglect of 18-month old Myleahya Woods of Pensacola. Although known facts are few and dribbling out only slowly, to its credit the Pensacola News Journal, so far, has given just about as much ink to this case as it did, earlier, to the more sensational Billings murders.

Good for the newspaper. Keep it up.

In an important respect the two cases strike us as worlds apart. In one case, there are no deeper public policy implications we can see. In the other, there is ample reason to conclude that the crime itself was enabled by a great many public officials, from the lowest county caseworker to the Governor of the State.

The Billings murders to all appearances were committed by a hapless gang of misfits, stumblebums, and rock-stupid crooks. The perpetrators relied on erroneous information about the loot; developed a criminal burglary plan hardly worthy of a third grader; incompetently reconnoitered the planned crime site; overlooked a number of video security cameras which later caught them on tape; made a dozen idiotic mistakes as they pulled off the heist -- not least of which is they stole the wrong safe; and then the parents were wantonly murdered for no apparent reason that would have advanced the dastardly criminal design.

Afterwards, these criminal geniuses tried to disguise the get-away vehicle by re-painting it from red to... red. That tells you just about everything you need to know about the murder case. Even Jimmy Breslin could not have invented a more incompetent bunch of thugs.

The Billings murders may make for sensational copy, but even if persistent rumors about a bigger conspiracy to assasinate Mr. Billings ultimately bear out, it's hard to find any larger lesson for public policy in this crime. Unless, that is, you are inclined to use the case as further evidence for an indictment of the local public school system for turning out people so stupid they don't even make good crooks.

The death of the infant child, Myleahya Woods, is another matter. To be sure, it also has what some may consider sensational aspects: six Jello cups left for three infant children with which to sustain themselves over three days; electricity cut-off, leaving the kids in the dark; the mystery of where the mother really was over that 3-day weekend; the near-death of Myleahya's twin sister; the trashy, over-grown yard and the cockroach-infested home, and so on, and on, in a litany of terribles that describes the very bottom of the poverty ladder.

More than that, however, the Woods case raises very serious questions of public policy that need -- indeed, practically shout out for -- wider and more intensive investigative reporting. The first clue for this was buried deep in the thirty-sixth paragraph of yesterday's news story by Thyrie Bland and Rebekah Allen:

The Department of Children and Families has visited the house in the past. There was a complaint of neglect filed concerning the boy, said Janice Thomas, circuit administrator for the Department of Children and Families.

Thomas could not provide details of the case, citing privacy laws. But she said the department did not recommend the child be removed from the house nor any court action.

There's been no follow-up on this tantalizing bit, yet. If there is to be any, it will take a truly skilled reporter to do it.

Do not suppose that this is the first time an Escambia County DCF worker has blown the investigation of a child abuse complaint. It happens far too much of the time. One of the more persistent, if least publicized, rumors about the Escambia County DCF office is that it is staffed by an over-abundance of incompetent, lazy, credulous, and stupid case workers and supervisors. Not every Escambia worker may fit that description, to be sure, but enough do that the local agency has earned a terrible reputation among both DCF caseworkers in neighboring counties and professionals who see them at work every day in Pensacola courtrooms.

Certainly, a part of the problem is the state agency itself. It is woefully underfunded, grossly understaffed, and almost always over-politicized. Over the years, an increasing crescendo of voices, statewide, has called out the agency for repeatedly neglecting dependent children, inappropriately placing them in life-threatening environments, and even losing track of dependent children entirely. Judges, lawyers, law enforcement officers, independent child development specialists, psychologists, social workers, parents, and even children themselves have complained of shoddy DCF investigations, inadequate follow-up, failure to provide promised support services, and chronic agency cover-ups of its own malfeasance.

In fact, state-wide Florida currently ranks 41st out of the 50 states in "child abuse fatalities per 100,000 children." There's plenty of blame for this to go round: the legislature that starves the agency, the agency that tolerates incompetent employees, judges that give agency recommendations excessive deference, lawyers who stay silent when they know the agency needs radical reform, and so on.

Getting at the evidence won't be easy, though. Typically, as in the case of Myleahya Woods, DCF pleads "privacy laws" whenever it declines to disclose the names of caseworkers who placed a child a risk or failed to identify and provide needed protective services. If there are any such laws that shield negligent caseworkers from public exposure, they need to be changed immediately. Given the proclivity of our state governors to paper over embarrassing DCF gaffes, how other than through public exposure will caseworkers and their supervisors be held accountable for shoddy work?

Locally, an even more delicate problem needs to be mentioned, however uncomfortable it may be. That problem is racial, although not in the way you may think. It is something mostly whispered about, and rarely discussed openly. But one very experienced lawyer we know who specializes in dependent child cases told us not long ago, "To be blunt, the problem in Escambia County DCF is that black supports black. If you quote me by name on that, I'll deny it."

What the lawyer meant is that the race of the child and its parent or guardian often determines how skeptical or forgiving -- that is, how credulous or critical -- an Escambia County DCF worker will be when confronted with a risky home environment for a dependent child. Caseworkers are more forgiving of same-race adult child caregivers and more critical of opposite-race caregivers. The child's welfare becomes secondary.

That's disgusting, if true. Race, of course, should play no role in any of this. Yet, the rumors persist and can be heard -- almost always "off the record" -- both locally and from other DCF or former DCF caseworkers in neighboring counties.

Doubtless, there is a myriad of other problems facing the local DCF office as well as the state DCF department. Some of them may help to satisfactorily explain why "the department did not recommend" that Myleahya Woods and her siblings "be removed from the house nor any court action" be taken before she died. Some may not.

The public, whose taxes pay for the DCF agency as well as for the politicians who oversee it, needs to know what those problems were so that they can be fixed and more children like Myleahya Woods don't die in the dark.

The Gulf Breeze Zip Code War

If there were any doubts about the discriminatory way in which the City of Gulf Breeze administers sewer and water rates by "zip code," Richard A. Snyder just dispelled them. The long-time chairman of the utility's "advisory board" has penned what surely must be one of the absolute worst op-ed articles ever given ink by the Pensacola News Journal.

That in itself is quite an achievement. No facts. No reasoned arguments. Just one long, inane whine: "Trust us."

Here are his talking points, in plain-speak:

• A majority of the advisory board used to be from "improper" Gulf Breeze down-the-highway (32563). Now it isn't because we're all moving into Gulf Breeze proper (32561) where the rates are lower.
• Sure, we're unpaid volunteers but we know what we're doing. Really, we do.
  
• We have no real power, so don't blame us.
  
• We advise the city to raise rates on "improper" 32563 residents down the highway, but it has never reversed one of our "votes!"
• [Tautology alert!] "It is the City of Gulf Breeze's prerogative as an incorporated entity to control its own utility service separate from the 32563 service area."
• Noblesse oblige.
• City utility rates for "proper" 32561 residents have never been lower than, but sometimes they've been the same as, those for 32563. If you don't like it, see # 1, above.
  
• The City does a lot of other wonderful things for people.
• If you disagree, "there may be a board position open for you."

But first, you'll have to move to the "proper" zip code like the rest of them are doing.

Improper Gulf Breeze Protest

"This is a further divide of the proper and the improper residents
outside the city." -- Don Richards, United Peninsula Assn.
(Oct. 12)

Residents of "Gulf Breeze down the highway" -- the "improper" people -- are upset that the city council is poised to increase their water and sewer bills by 8.5 percent while leaving residents of "Gulf Breeze Proper" (within the narrow city limits) unchanged. If you live in zip code 32561 (Pensacola Beach and Gulf Breeze proper) your bills won't go up. If you live in zip code 32563, they will.

To add insult to injury, the city's sewer facilities are located "down the highway" and that's where they field-spray all the effluent, using nineteenth-century technology so typical of this part of Florida. Gulf Breeze "proper" residents also are protected from sewage spray in the eyes.

"On the surface, it seems unfair," says Mike Robertson, an "improper" resident. Yes, Mike, on the surface, deep inside, and all around.

The reason the city can, and will, get away with it is, state law allows cities to act as discriminatory as they like when setting utility rates. That, plus the "improper" ones don't get a vote on city council members because they live outside the city limits.

Another "improper" resident, Don Richards, says the handwriting is on the wall. "We're not going to stop the rate hike," he told the Pensacola News Journal today.

That's another characteristic of the local population. They're sheep. So, of course, they get shorn.

Have a little spine, people! If the "United Peninsula Association" of homeowners is worth the fee it costs to join, it should mount a boycott of all "Gulf Breeze Proper" businesses -- starting with every shop in the Publix, Seagreen, Office Depot, and [formerly named] Bruno's shopping centers.

They want "improper" business? Then, they ought to make sure the city council of Gulf Breeze doesn't treat down-the-highway residents improperly.

If UPA can't manage to mount that much of a protest, what's the use of it? Just take your annual dues and use it to offset the discriminatory impact of a city that knows no bounds -- except a zip code.

Dept. of Amplification

The Gulf Breeze Zip Code War

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Moon

U.K. Guardian:

"As Nasa's LCROSS spacecraft travelled towards the moon at more than 9,000 kilometres per hour on Friday afternoon, it tweeted in the whale's words: 'And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round ... it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! ... That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me?'"

Bill Nelson's Health Reform Dyslexia

Merely to satisfy one Republican and the handful of Blue Dog Democrats left in the Senate who are not nuzzling too deep in the hog's trough of health insurance campaign contributions, over the past couple of weeks two compromise ideas have been floating around Washington, presumably to satisfy the 70 percent of Americans who want a public health insurance option while making it possible for politicians to claim otherwise when they're confronted with the remaining 30 percent.

One path to compromise is the so-called "trigger" option. Under this, there would be no hope of universal health reform for years to come, under the best of circumstances, and probably never.
The other is the so-called "opt-out" option -- everybody gets it, unless they're stupid enough to elect a state government that "opts out."

Today, Florida Senator Bill Nelson was asked which he prefers. His answer suggests he has a bad case of Health Reform Dyslexia. He got it exactly upside down and inside out:

[T]o argue that a trigger is preferable to the opt-out seems entirely wrong. With the latter, there would be a national public plan that gives consumers a choice. With the prior, there would be no public option at all until some arbitrary point in the future, when private insurers have failed by some arbitrary measurement.

Or put another way, with the opt-out, it's possible that some states would refuse to let residents have a choice between competing public and private plans. With the trigger, it's definite that everyone would be denied a choice between competing public and private plans for some indefinite period of time.

This bears repeating: Congress on a number of occasions has enacted a half-step toward reforming something and then added a "trigger" to mollify reform advocates. In no case has the trigger ever been pulled. The legislative "trigger" is merely a congressional slight-of-hand to make you think you can have it both ways.

The "opt-out" alternative isn't problem-free, either. It looks too much like the Missouri Compromise, enacted to satisfy both abolitionists and slave holders. The criticism, in those antebellum days, came down to a fundamental point of fairness, justice, and equality: either everyone really is created equal, or they're not; latitudes and state boundaries should have nothing to do with it.

So, too, with health reform. Either everyone in America should be entitled to quality medical care, or not. Allowing Mississippi, Florida, Texas, and such -- basically, the old Confederacy -- to "opt out" not only invites terrible inequality, it will endanger the rest of the nation's population when the next epidemic comes along.

Germs and viruses have no respect for state boundaries or political preferences. The opt-out option makes no more sense than does providing police and fire protection only to those who can buy it.

Neither "compromise" is reasonable. Both should be rejected in favor of true health reform -- a strong public option. But if we have to have one of them, Florida's own Bill Nelson has it exactly wrong: the trigger would deprive all Americans of a basic freedom. Only the "opt-out" compromise gives all Americans a true choice.

All Our Sons

"For me? Where do you live, where have you come from? For me! I was dying every day and you were killing my boys and you did it for me? What the hell do you think I was thinking of, the goddamn business? Is that as far as your mind can see, the business?"

Arthur Miller, "All My Sons" (1947)

All My Sons - 2d edition (2009):

• __In the chaos of an early morning assault on a remote U.S. outpost in eastern Afghanistan, Staff Sgt. Erich Phillips' M4 carbine quit firing as militant forces surrounded the base. The machine gun he grabbed after tossing the rifle aside didn't work either.

• __"My weapon was overheating," McKaig said, according to Cubbison's report. "I had shot about 12 magazines by this point already and it had only been about a half hour or so into the fight. I couldn't charge my weapon and put another round in because it was too hot, so I got mad and threw my weapon down."

• __The soldiers also had trouble with their M249 machine guns, a larger weapon than the M4 that can shoot up to 750 rounds per minute.

• __Cpl. Jason Bogar fired approximately 600 rounds from his M-249 before the weapon overheated and jammed the weapon. Bogar was killed during the firefight, but no one saw how he died, according to the report.

• __A week ago, eight U.S. troops were killed at a base near Kamdesh, a town near Wanat. There's no immediate evidence of weapons failures at Kamdesh, but the circumstances were eerily similar to the Wanat battle: insurgents stormed an isolated stronghold manned by American forces stretched thin by the demands of war.

The Cubbison Report still has not been released.

The M-4 carbine is made by Colt Manufacturing. The M249 machine gun is made by FN Manufacturing of Columbia, S.C.

John McCain, President of TV Village

Steven Benen:

IF IT'S SUNDAY, IT'S PRESIDENT MCCAIN.... A couple of days ago, Atrios tweeted, "Huzzah! President John McCain will be on my teevee on Sunday." I hoped he was kidding. He wasn't.

On today's episode of CNN's "State of the Union," viewers can tune in to find yet another Sunday interview with last year's unsuccessful presidential candidate, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.). For those keeping score, this will be McCain's 14th Sunday morning appearance since President Obama's inauguration in January. That's 38 Sundays, for an average of a McCain appearance every 2.7 weeks.

Since the president took office, McCain has been on "Meet the Press" twice (July 12 and March 29), "Face the Nation" three times (August 30, April 26, and February 8), "This Week" three times (September 27, August 23, and May 10), and "Fox News Sunday" three times (July 2, March 8, and January 25). His appearance on "State of the Union" today will be his third visit since February (October 11, August 2, and February 15).

Not bad for a senator in the minority, who isn't in the party leadership, who has no role in any important negotiations, and who has offered no significant pieces of legislation.

The interview, as I understand it, was pre-recorded on Friday, which is a shame. I would have liked to see John King ask the Arizona senator about Frank Rich's column today, which emphasized McCain's record of being consistently wrong about what's alleged to be his signature issue.

Medical Lesson from a Founding Father

"Avarice, in physicians, discovers itself in their extravagant charges, and in the means which are sometimes employed to obtain payment for such debts as are just. I have heard of a surgeon in the British army, who made it a practice to take the swords of the officers, as a security for the future payment of his bills. A physician, in this country, once took, by legal force, a solitary cow from a poor woman, on which she chiefly relied for the subsistence of her family. But it is after the death of the master of the family, that the avarice of physicians appears in its most distressing and cruel forms. Behold one of these harpies enter into the house of a widow, who has just been bereaved of her husband, on whose daily labour she depended for her daily support. Unmoved by her tears, and by the sight of a group of helpless children, calling upon her, perhaps in vain, for their customary articles of food, sternly he demands an immediate settlement of his accompt.* Gracious Father of the human race! touch the heart of this wretch with a sudden sense of thy justice, and cause him to feel the enormity of his crime!"

-- Dr. Benjamin Rush, M.D., Sixteen Introductory Lectures to Courses of Lectures Upon the Institutes and Practice of Medicine, Philadelphia: Bradford and Innskeep (1811) at 126.

* "accompt" = account.

Shooting the Moon

You were expecting to be entertained? Well, here's the image most Americans were hoping for, courtesy of Cosmic Log:

Pensacola Graffiti Question

The 17th Avenue viaduct apparently is one of the more memorable sites in Pensacola. While traveling, more than once we've encountered strangers who have visited here and, other than the blinding white beach sand, the one thing they remember most vividly is "that bridge with all the graffiti."

Waymarking describes it as a place where "local kids... proclaim their feelings.. of undying love." True. But every so often an artistic or political statement can be seen, if briefly.

Once, it was Edgar Allan Poe. Yesterday, it was this:

We're not entirely sure, but it looks like a political statement to us. Maybe against rape? Vaginal circumcision? The abysmal state of health care in the U.S.? Cervical cancer? You tell us.

Obama Receives Nobel Peace Prize

"As described in Nobel's will, one part was dedicated to 'the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses'."

Nobel Prize Committee

Olympics, schmo-lymics. U.S. President Barack Obama has been awarded the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize:

Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics. Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts. The vision of a world free from nuclear arms has powerfully stimulated disarmament and arms control negotiations. Thanks to Obama's initiative, the USA is now playing a more constructive role in meeting the great climatic challenges the world is confronting. Democracy and human rights are to be strengthened.

Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future. His diplomacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world's population.

For 108 years, the Norwegian Nobel Committee has sought to stimulate precisely that international policy and those attitudes for which Obama is now the world's leading spokesman. The Committee endorses Obama's appeal that "Now is the time for all of us to take our share of responsibility for a global response to global challenges."

He is only the third U.S. president to be selected for the prestigious international award while still in office. Previous presidential winners while still in the White House were Teddy Roosevelt (1906) and Woodrow Wilson (1919).

Now, the fun begins again. How long do you suppose it will take right-wing cranks and Fox News to trash Alfred Nobel, Sweden, Europe, Obama, the shades of Roosevelt and Wilson, and the world -- all in the name of world peace, of course?

Dept. of Amplification

10-9 am

Among the early commentators, Renard Sexton, writing from Geneva for Five Thirty-Eight, has an interesting perspective on the award:

The justification for the prize, while certainly unexpected and a bit tenuous, is indeed rooted in fact. Obama has long been a booster for non-proliferation, and his speech and lobbying at the UN General Assembly and Security Council proved to be quite successful.

On climate change, the Obama administration has taken the toughest line against carbon emissions of any White House so far in terms of concrete regulations by Federal agencies. The September announcement by the EPA that the agency would begin to regulate CO2 as a pollutant, verified by the Supreme Court in 2007, was a major step towards US action on the climate change issue. Though cap-and-trade or other large scale programmes are clearly the purvue of Congress, the executive branch's efforts in the realm are likely to be a major portion of the US effort.

Regarding diplomacy, the committee was likely in part referring to the re-elevation of Susan Rice's post, the US Ambassador to the UN, to a cabinet level post, as well as his public addresses and promised strategic changes toward diplomatic action over rapid military decisions - such as Iran. The G5 plus one meeting with Iran, where Undersecretary of State Burns officially met with the Iranian negotiator, and found a way forward on nuclear energy processing was the first concrete outcome of this strategy.
* * *
While the US political scene is often quite skeptical of the international community, the Peace Prize is a quite lauded affair. Even major Obama detractors will have a bit of hard time criticizing his win, especially after their poorly received revelry of Chicago's olympic demise.

Dept. of Additional Amplification

10-9 am

Conservatives and the Taliban agree - President Barack Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize is a very bad thing.

And, of course, former Pensacola resident Joe Scarborough agrees with the Taliban.

Dept. of Even More Amplification
10-09 am

As often is the case, Steve Benen -- with an assist from Josh Marshall -- has the most measured and insightful response we've seen. [Added: And here, too.]

Another Health Care Alternative: Move to The Netherlands

The Florida "insurance consumer protection" people forgot to tell our Pensacola Beach friend there is another alternative to escalating, unaffordable health insurance or "getting a job with health insurance" in an "at will" state in the midst of a "jobless" economic recovery : She could move to The Netherlands.

There, health insurance companies don't 'compete' against their own customers. They compete against each other. What a novelty.

Because of Winn Dixie

We have a bar code story that happened to us just yesterday and, wouldn't you know it? Today turns out to be Bar Code Day! Google is celebrating "the 57th anniversary of the bar code patent." What a coincidence.

For some years, now, She Who Must Be Obeyed has insisted on nothing but 20-ounce polystyrene thermal cups for taking along a cup of coffee on her daily commute.

She likes her cups big and she like 'em strong enough not to lose their shape when you pick 'em up and put 'em to your lips.

Now, as it happens, the grocery store in Gulf Breeze is the only supermarket in the Pensacola Beach-Gulf Breeze vicinity that carries big, strong, 20-ounce polystyrene thermal cups. Unlike the inferior brand sold at Walmart, the brand sells has little 'give' in the sides and it doesn't collapse in your hand, spilling coffee all over the clothes.

However, for nearly three weeks, now, the shelves at the Gulf Breezehave been bare of the 20-ounce cups. It has become nearly a daily ritual for us to stop in and check the shelves at only to be disappointed, time and again. Nothing but little dinky cups and over-priced, soft-sided cardboard containers.

Where had the 20 ounce cups gone? Finally, we collared an on-site manager. "Could you please be sure to order the 20-ounce cups?" we pleaded.

"Inventory replacement is done automatically by corporate headquarters," came the reply. "They'll be on the truck Thursday."

We checked back that next Thursday. Still no cups. And that was nearly two weeks ago. We continued to check, almost daily. Nothing doing.

Then, last evening -- just hours before the 57th anniversary of Bar Code Day (although we didn't know that at the time) -- we stopped by again. This time we discovered there are almost no cups left of any size or description. Here's a shot of the pathetic cups shelf at the Gulf Breeze as of last night:

So, we spoke to another manager.

"I know, I know," he said. "The cups didn't come in. We have asked, believe me. But Corporate is telling us they can't send any 20 ounce cups until we tell them what the UPC bar code is. And we don't know because, of course, we're all sold out."

"So, find out. Tell them the bar code!" we urged. "Call another store and ask them to read it to you."

"I'd like to," the manager answered, "but Corporate shorted us on staff, too. Right now, we're supposed to have six in management. But we have only two. We just haven't had the time."

So, what did we do? The sensible thing, of course. We treated like a charity case. We got on the cell phone and called anotherstore, elsewhere in Pensacola proper.

"Do you carry 20-ounce polystyrene thermal cups?" we asked.

"Sure do. Very popular," came the reply.

"Would you be so kind as to read us the bar code off the package?" we asked.

There was a long pause. "What's going on, here? Is this a test?" asked a trembling voice. "This is Corporate calling, right?"

"No, we aren't Corporate. Look, the idiots at Corporate are telling the Gulf Breeze manager they need the bar code before Corporate's centralized inventory control system can replenish the stock on the shelves that's been sold. But the store managers don't have time to call because they're short handed. So we're doing it for them. Think of us like volunteer labor helping out the less fortunate."

The Pensacola manager breathed a sigh of relief. "So, what you're saying is Corporate headquarters doesn't know the bar code and the store managers can't get it, either. And you are --- ?"

"We're just a customer who'd like to buy some cups. But nobody at seems able to sell them to us."

"Yeah, I see," came the reply. "That makes a certain kind of sense, at least around here. Sure, I'll get the bar code for you."

And so we were able to deliver the bar code numbers to the Gulf Breeze within the hour. Now, let's see what Thursday's truck brings.

Meanwhile, Happy 57th Birthday, Bar Code. Wish you had made life easier all around, but because of Winn Dixie.......