Text Message This

We plead guilty. When we were younger and dumber -- say, about four months ago -- we used a cell phone while driving. Maybe more than once. We just can't recall for sure, officer.

In mitigation, we hasten to add that we've never used our cell phone as much as the really young ones do, since it's too much trouble for us to put aside the walker, shift the colostomy bag out of the way, swallow the nitro pills, pat down a half-dozen pockets to find the trifocals, and then discover where the hell we put the cell phone.

Even so, we're in favor of saving others, from people like us, by a federal ban on text-messaging while driving.

In fact, we're in favor of banning all hand-held cell phone use while driving a moving vehicle, including talk, GPS, picture-taking, microwaving lunch, simulated sex, and whatever other tools and applications modern cell phones may have these days. If it were within our power, we'd even ban calling or texting anyone who happens to be in their car at the time. That would cut down really fast on the problem we've been contributing to.

So we have something in common with CNN Cable News. Both of us have short-term memory loss. That, alone, makes us plenty dangerous enough on the road.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
CNN Warns Against Texting While Driving
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