Last Election Story

Before we leave behind for good all of the presidential election year stuff, we need to send this quick story into the Internet Pipes, for the sake of posterity.

An elderly acquaintance of a good friend of ours received all those emails last year predicting Barack Obama would seize everyone's handguns and take away their bibles.

"Don't be ridiculous," our friend told her. "That's nonsense."

"No, it's true," the acquaintance insisted, quite sincerely. "He's a Muslim, you know."

When the results were known Election Night here along the Gulf Coast, about 11 pm, everyone toasted the newly elected president. Then, speaking of her acquaintance, our friend said, "Now, let's call, wake her up, and tell her we're coming for her bible."

Panties-gap

AP News Service, Nov. 8:

Gov. Sarah Palin denounced anonymous criticisms leveled at her by former John McCain aides as lies, including allegations that Republican lawyers were traveling to Alaska to reclaim her high-priced wardrobe and that she didn't know Africa was a continent.

"Those accounts are not true," the former Republican vice presidential candidate said in her first public comments on the matter since the election Tuesday.
* * *
She scoffed at reports that the RNC was sending lawyers to take back clothes from her home.

"It's not happening. Nobody's told me that they're coming to my house to look through closets, to look through anything. The belly of the plane that had clothes in it, and those clothes being packed up and sent back by staffers, perhaps that's what they're talking about, but these aren't attorneys."

AP news service, Nov. 11:

Palin's father, Chuck Heath, said his daughter spent the day Saturday trying to figure out what belongs to the RNC.

"She was just frantically ... trying to sort stuff out," Heath said. "That's the problem, you know, the kids lose underwear, and everything has to be accounted for.

Any day, now, we expect to be hearing about an 18 1/2 minus panties gap. It will be claimed that it's the fault of Rosemary Woods the kids -- Bristol, Willow, Piper, or Trig.

Two Large Losers - Election '08

In this morning after the '08 presidential election, with a number of close races in various states still undecided and detailed precinct by precinct data not yet available for Northwest Florida counties, we can be sure of only some things. One of them is that there were two large losers on the national scene yesterday, in addition to John McCain.

George W. Bush

The biggest loser of all in the 2008 general election was George W. Bush, not McCain, as the late night spontaneous demonstration outside the White House attests. Andrew Gumbel, who covered the fall of communism in Eastern Europe, likens it to the crumbling of the Berlin Wall:

They streamed down the hill from Adams Morgan, down 16th St and along Pennsylvania Avenue to converge on the edge of Lafayette Park. They sang songs, beat on drums, waved life-size cardboard replicas of Obama, hugged, kissed, high-fived and alternated chants of "Yes we can!" with "No more Bush!" For blocks around, cars lined up along the improbably jammed downtown streets echoed the rhythm of those chants with volley after volley of three short toots of their horns.

This wasn't an organized celebration like the gathering in Chicago's Grant Park. It didn't involve buses and organizers and legal protection volunteers, like the vast protests against the World Trade Organization in Seattle nine years ago, or the mass demonstrations on the eve of the Iraq war. It was something altogether more unusual in American public life: a spontaneous political gathering of thousands of ecstatic, peaceful revelers who decided to make their feelings known before the most powerful political office on the planet. It was a celebration, for sure, but it was also some kind of deeper statement: that the people had been living under some sort of perversion of democracy for a long time but now felt emboldened to claim it back for themselves.

The "Worst. President. Ever." will be leaving office in richly deserved humiliation.

Sarah Palin

Beyond that, we'd have to say Sarah Palin is the second-sorriest loser. Not because she was a big drag on the McCain ticket -- although that's true, too -- but because she's now facing a certain war unto political death from large and very powerful elements within her own Republican party. It will take awhile, but you can color her done-for.

McCain bears some personal responsibility for that. He plucked the poor woman out of obscurity, so far as 49 of the 50 states are concerned, well before she was ready. He did it to excite, or at least appease, the wacko religious right of the party. In the process, however, he affronted nearly every powerful Republican in and out of office or who holds the party's purse strings.

Of course, Palin herself could have said "No." But she didn't. If she was as capable as some G.O.P. spinners were claiming on the Tee-Vee, she would have known she wasn't ready.

The spinners were lying, of course. You could see it in their eyes every time one of them went on the Tee-Vee to defend McCain's pick: 'This idiot was chosen over me?' they were saying to themselves, 'and now here I am lying about her like this, in front of everyone? What will my mother say?'

If, as they say in baseball, Palin been allowed to "round out" in the minor leagues a little longer, one could have imagined her, perhaps, making a successful run for national office four, or eight, or even twelve years from now; that is to say, after she'd had a chance to learn a little something about foreign affairs, domestic affairs, economics, history, and law. And, just as importantly from a political point of view, after she'd had a chance to bury those ethics charges, fix her squirrley income tax returns, and burn those mysterious medical records in obscurity -- as thoroughly as George W. Bush disappeared records of his cocaine possession probation in Texas and the Air National Guard AWOL records.

As it is, in effect, McCain let her blow out her throwing arm before she was mature enough to pitch and smart enough to hide her embarrassing past. Now, she's been left standing alone on the Republican mound with nothing left to throw.

Sarah Palin is now as vulnerable as Spiro Agnew was on the eve of the Nixon impeachment. Her political fate is sealed.

Post-election Thievery

Obama must have won last night, eh? We figured that out because someone stole both of our yard signs late last night. Curious, that. Is someone expecting old, rained-upon Obama yard signs to increase in value, like his books? Or, was he just gravely disappointed in the outcome and took it out on our lawn?

Local Elections Results

Bucking the national trend, here are preliminary results of the November 4 general election in Florida's three western-most counties.

Escambia County election results (90/90 precincts reporting)

Santa Rosa County election results (41/41 precincts reporting)

Okaloosa County election results (28/28 precincts)

Undecided Voters

First you say you do
And then you don`t
And then you say you will
And then you won`t
You`re undecided now
So what are you gonna do?

-- "Undecided" (Charlie Shavers, comp.)

Speaking, as we just were, about putting party loyalty above all else, including common sense, what about those "undecideds" that are even at this late date popping up in the polls? According to today's Sunday New York Times, "4 percent, according to a New York Times/CBS News poll — are still wrestling with the 'Who are you voting for?' question."

Dozens of questions arise. Are these people really undecided? Or, are they just so addled that they're unable to remember, when asked, the name of the candidate they had intended to vote for? Are they of two minds -- or no mind at all? Have they taken their meds today?

We just can't understand how any conscious being in America truly can be undecided now, after nearly three years of non-stop campaigning by all of the candidates. Even super-low information voters have made up their minds by now. (And if they watch Fox News or listen to Limbaugh, it wouldn't have made any difference if McCain had picked Lassie the Collie for V-P.)

It's reassuring to know that someone else, someone like David Sedaris, is equally baffled. In the current issue of The New Yorker he confides:

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?

There's more and it's pretty funny.

Random Thought

After traveling through several Pensacola suburban neighborhoods over the past week and seeing all the McCain-Palin yard signs, we got to wondering.... Would these people be just as likely to be promoting McCain and his running mate, Lassie the Collie, if that were the Republican ticket?

Palin Punked

For those who don't know, Marc-Antoine Audette and Sebastien Trudel are Quebec comedians working under the name of "Justiciers Masques." They make something of a comedy act out of placing fake phone calls to the rich and famous.

Saturday, they punked Sarah Palin by successfully impersonating French President Nicolas Sarkozy, with an improbably thick French accent no less, and misidentifying or dissing various celebrities, including Sarkozy's wife. In the process, Palin revealed new depths to her ignorance:

At one point the impersonator, comedian Marc Antoine Audette, told the Alaskan governor he is following the US elections closely along with his special American advisor Johnny Hallyday -- a famous French rock'n'roll singer.

When the fake president told Palin his wife Carla Bruni is "hot in bed," the governor chuckled and complimented him for his "beautiful family."

Palin also proffered to continue relations if she reaches the White House.

"We should go hunting together," Palin said.

Palin laughed in response to Audette's comment: "I just love killing those animals ... take away life, that is so fun!"

Wouldn't you know it? The entire phone call is now on YouTube:

Kiss of the Spider-Man

Dick Cheney endorses McCain-Palin.


Dept. of Congratulations

Barack Obama:

I'd like to congratulate Senator McCain on this endorsement because he really earned it. That endorsement didn't come easy. Senator McCain had to vote 90 percent of the time with George Bush and Dick Cheney to get it. He served as Washington's biggest cheerleader for going to war in Iraq, and supports economic policies that are no different from the last eight years. So Senator McCain worked hard to get Dick Cheney's support.

But here's my question for you, Colorado: do you think Dick Cheney is delighted to support John McCain because he thinks John McCain's going to bring change? Do you think John McCain and Dick Cheney have been talking about how to shake things up, and get rid of the lobbyists and the old boys club in Washington?

Evolutionary Milestone

Friday's New York Times is reporting that the audience for Obama's 30-minute infomercial "far exceeded" the expectations of television executives. It "was a smashing ratings success on Wednesday night, proving to be more popular than even the final game of the World Series — and last season’s finale of 'American Idol.'"

It appears that, at last, we have arrived at that point in the long evolutionary struggle of humankind when it makes news that a presidential candidate can capture the imagination of more onlookers than a handful of amateur nobody's hoping for a record contract.

School Props for McCain

MSNBC via Huffington Post:

A local school district official confirmed after the event that of the 6,000 people estimated by the fire marshal to be in attendance this morning, more than 4,000 were bused in from schools in the area. The entire 2,500-student Defiance School District was in attendance, the official said, in addition to at least three other schools from neighboring districts, one of which sent 14 buses.

Since when do schools connive with politicians to help construct a Potemkin village?

Obama TV Ratings

Nielsen overnight ratings for the top 56 local TV markets measured last night's audience for the Obama campaign's 30-minute commercial at 21.7 percent of all households. The ad “outperformed the usual programming in the time period,” according to Hollywood Reporter. In the large Florida market of West Palm Beach/Ft. Pierce viewership was a very high 28 percent.

Dept. of Amplification

10-30 pm

Late afternoon Nielsen ratings, which fine-tune the overnight viewership, calculate 33.5 million people watched the Obama TV special.

Obama's 30-Minute 'Infomercial'

If you didn't watch it live or Tivo it, here's Barack Obama's much-talked-about infomercial. It runs about 27 minutes:

Bush Fan Evaluates McCain

Shorter David Broder: If John McCain were to run the country the way he has run his campaign, we're all in deep doo-doo.

[H]e had limited interest in, and capacity for, the organization and management of large enterprises. His first effort at building a structure for the 2008 presidential race collapsed in near-bankruptcy, costing him the service of many longtime aides. From beginning to end, the campaign that followed has been plagued by internal feuds and McCain's inability to resolve them.

The shortcoming was intellectual as well as bureaucratic.

Simple Question, Simple Answer

Question: Is it a negative political ad when the ad does nothing but accurately quote the other guy -- with verifying footnotes?

Answer: No.

Governor Extends Early Voting

Florida Governor Charlie Crist today used his powers to issue an executive order extending early voting throughout the state. Here's the nub of it, after a lot of whereas's and wherefore's:

I order the Supervisors of Elections to open early voting sites from 7 a.m. and close at 7 p.m. through October 31, 2008 and open early voting sites for a total of twelve (12) hours between 7 a.m. November 1, 2008 and 7 p.m. November 2, 2008.

For the western-most two counties in the Florida panhandle, this represents a considerable expansion of early voting. Until today, to comply with the restrictive legislation passed by the Republican-dominated legislature in 2005, local election officials were forced to keep banker's hours and were not planning on being open at all this coming Sunday.

Dept. of Amplification and Clarification
10-29 am

According to Wednesday's PNJ, both Escambia and Santa Rosa election officials "will use all of their weekend hours on Saturday, from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m." There will be no early voting on Sunday in the greater Pensacola area, at all.

Locally, then, the net effect of Governor Crists' order is to extend early voting hours an additional four hours each day through Saturday, only, for a total of 16 additional hours. If the last week's past is prologue, Saturday November 1 will see the heaviest turn-out of early voters.

Hockey Grandpa Convicted

WaPo:

Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens was convicted of seven corruption charges Monday in a trial that tainted the 40-year Senate career of Alaska's political patriarch. The verdict, coming barely a week before Election Day, added further uncertainty to a closely watched Senate race.
* ** *
Stevens, 84, was convicted of all the charges he faced of lying about free home renovations and other gifts from a wealthy oil contractor.
* * *

The month long trial revealed that employees for VECO Corp., an oil services company, transformed Stevens' modest mountain cabin into a modern, two-story home with wraparound porches, a sauna and a wine cellar.

The Senate's longest-serving Republican, Stevens said he had no idea he was getting freebies.

Husbands and U.S. senators are notoriously unobservant, of course, but that "Oh, gosh! Where did this second story come from?" was never a defense that would fly.

Dept. of Amplification

The Department of Justice, helpfully, has put the indictment and trial exhibits on-line.

Dept. of Further Amplification

It seems Alaska Senator Ted Stevens cannot legally vote for himself in Alaska because he's a convicted felon.

Sunday Go to Meetin'

Sunday NYT:"Mr. McCain has found relatively small crowds — particularly compared with those that are turning out for Mr. Obama — even as he has campaigned in battleground states."

CLICK PICTURE

Early Voting Florida Snaufs

"I don't have time to complain about the rules," a harried county election worker snapped back. "I just follow them."

Early voting across Florida is bringing record turnouts. But it's also exposed, as the Miami Herald points out today, how Florida's Republican-dominated legislature two years ago "made it harder, not easier, for Floridians to vote."

The legislature mandated a cut-back in early-voting hours and limited the number of early voting polling places a local election supervisor can establish. Supposedly, the legislature acted "to save money." As a result, now, there are only four early voting locations in Escambia County and just two in Santa Rosa County.

Escambia County Early Voting Sites

Supervisor of Elections Main Office
213 Palafox Place, 2nd floor
Pensacola (downtown)

Supervisor of Elections Branch office
292 Muscogee Road
Cantonment

Lucia M. Tryon Branch Library
5740 North 9th Avenue
Pensacola

Southwest Branch Library
12248 Gulf Beach Highway

Santa Rosa County Early Voting Sites

The Elections Office
6495 Caroline St, Suite “F”
Milton

South Service Center
5841 Hwy 98
Gulf Breeze

All locations will be open today (Sunday) from 11:30 am to 3:30 pm. Tomorrow (Monday through Saturday, early voting locations in the two counties will be open from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm.

The scant locations and limited hours are causing long lines in both counties. While we were standing in line over an hour yesterday, we overheard another voter complaining about the long wait, the abbreviated hours, and the gas it took to drive to the distant early voting polling place.

"Can't you do something about this?" he demanded.

"I don't have time to complain about the rules," a harried county election worker snapped back. "I just follow them."

Elsewhere in Florida, it's a "nightmare", as Mike Madden reports for Salon.com. Still, early voting as allowed in some 32 states is bringing record turn-outs, according to the Los Angeles Times. One million have already voted in North Carolina and over 900,000 in Georgia. That's "double the pace" in both states compared with the 2004 election, AFP News service reports.

In Oregon, which blazed the trail in the 1980's with its innovative vote-by-mail system, state officials reported 281,781 returned ballots as of October 23.

Interestingly, Oregon's experience with mail-in ballots has led to a substantial reduction in annual election expenses. While "counties have seen their post costs increase... the overall cost of running a mail election is far lower than a poll election." For example, in the largest county in the state:

At one time, Multnomah County had 2,000 people working at hundreds of polling places. This election, there will be 200 to 300 people working at a single office, said elections director Tim Scott.

Moreover, voter turn-out in Oregon has been around 80 percent of all eligible voters, an order of magnitude or two greater than the best participation rates in the other 49 states.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Did the Florida legislature's sudden interest in saving money on elections have more to do with voter suppression and its fundamental distrust of democracy than with economic efficiency?

Report the Smear

The Obama campaign has launched a new web site where those who are receiving them can report robocall, TV, email, and 3d class postal smears. "Fight the Smears" is the name of the site.

When you report the smear, you not only help the Obama campaign but democracy itself. It's time to stop the worms behind these baseless attacks.