American Bayh

We may have to withdraw our prediction. It really is a new world when just about any scruffy teenager armed with a guitar and a laptop can make the most puffed-up, calculating, self-important politician the laughing stock of the nation.

While it may be a little late to beat up on Evan Bayh (Bluedog-IN) for being a disappointment to the world as well as his father, and the voices sure leave a lot to be desired, the lyrics are fairly clever in a Beavis and Butt-Head kind of way. Tin Pan Alley, eat your heart out.

Lyrics
(to the tune of "American Pie")
A long, long time ago . . .
I can still remember
How those Dems used to make me smile
And I thought Indiana's favorite son
Was tough enough to get it done
And maybe he could stand firm for a while.

But February made me shiver,
The news on every blog, plus twitter
Bad news on my laptop
We've lost a key Dem backstop

I sat there and I rolled my eyes
When he said he'd finally gotten wise
To the ways of Congress . . . . God, what lies!
The day that we got Bayhd.

So Bye, Bye, Mr. Evan Bayh
You're such a loser of a Hoosier
That you won't even try.
Your daddy was a hero, you're just some douchey guy
Thanks to you, progressivism could die
Thanks to you, progressivism could die . . .

Didn't you want to be VP?
Like 3 different times? 'Cuz it seems to me
Maybe that's what this is all about . . .
'Cuz you're so pissed at not being picked
You took your ball and went home, you dick!
Didn't daddy teach you not to po-ut?

Well Birch ran for prez, and he didn't win
But that was fine, it didn't affect him
He pushed the ERA
And wrote Title IX too, OK?

And in that lonely year, that gloom of night
When Reagan took the country to the right
Did Birch give up without a fight?
No! He lost, but he wouldn't have Bayhd.

So Bye, Bye, Mr. Evan Bayh
You're such a loser of a Hoosier
That you won't even try.
Your daddy was a hero, you're just some sleazy guy
Thanks to you, progressivism could die
Thanks to you, progressivism could die . . .

Now for 12 years you have warmed your seat
And I guess you couldn't stand the heat
You say this ain't how it used to be.
Well that may be true, you little wu-ssy.
Sure Congress sucks. But you're a pussy
Just like Senators Ben and Joe, you see.

And while you talk about how things aren't great
The GOP is gonna take your state.
Think flag-burning shouldn't be allowed?
Oh wouldn't your daddy be proud?

And while you're off preening, unemployed,
And someone does what you avoid
And fights a real fight, we'll all feel annoyed
That thanks to you, we all got Bayhd.

So Bye, Bye, Mr. Evan Bayh
You're such a loser of a Hoosier
That you wont even try.
Your daddy was a hero, you're just some sleazy guy
Thanks to you, progressivism could die
Thanks to you, progressivism could die . . .

As healthcare whithers on the vine,
What do you care? Just go on and whine.
But think a bit 'bout your old man . . .
His fellow progressives didn't fear strife
With what Teddy called the cause of his life
In the balance, they would shout, Yes We Can!

Birch dragged Teddy from a plane
When it crashed and burned, the liberal lion in pain
Birch Bayh saved the day
His son would'a run away!!!

And a campaign raged, and a movement grew
History called, change needed you.
But you wanted to be Hillary's number two.
And now we've all been Bayhd!

So Bye, Bye, Mr. Evan Bayh
You're such a loser of a Hoosier
That you won't even try.
Your daddy was a hero, you're just some sleazy guy
Thanks to you, progressivism could die
Thanks to you, progressivism could die . . .